DEATH HAS NO FEAR !
Where do i begin? It’s been a really hard week for me.
The little things we take for granted, that moment u scroll through your phone and see a contact and say hey ill get to you later, or you see that friends missed call and never call back, or the little senseless fights, all these become absolutely irrelevant when death suddenly comes knocking.
Sunday 13th October 2013, death took away someone very close to me.
Emeka had grown from just a mere friend to a brother. I was parking my car when i heard the news. I could literarily feel my heart shatter into a little million pieces. I sat in my car and wept at a point i felt that my heart wouldn’t be able to take the pain i was feeling. I can’t even remember how long I sat and cried in that car.
The tears wouldn’t stop, I couldn’t control myself, I wanted to scream I wanted to question God. I went to see Emeka’s family and his sister kept saying that it was God that allowed it to happen, that didn’t make it easier but we had to accept it.
I am one of the most paranoid humans on the surface of the earth. I feel like the protector of all of my family and friends alike. I pray everyday for God to protect my own. I would admit that God has been faithful. He has protected my own so much, and I can hardly say I have experienced death. Death of a loved one it is one of the things i prayed God to take away from me.
Death in itself is inevitable, it has no FEAR whatsoever. We were all born and so one day we will all return to our maker. This is the mantra i have preached to myself everyday since Emeka passed. Does it make it any easier? No way. Sometimes when i wake up in the morning, i forget just for a split second and then i remember that he is gone and i am never going to see him ever again, at least not here.
I remember the first time i met Emeka, it was over a year ago. We had all been amongst the lucky few to be selected to join a graduate trainee program. We would be hurled up together in a small classroom for four months.
Emeka was a diva, (forgive me baby, you know I love you. lol) and i was a diva, pre Madonna intensified all wrapped in one so you can imagine these two characters would never ever get along.
He used to sit in the last row in class, perpetual noisemaker!!! He had this laughter, so so annoying (I would give anything to hear it again my God) unfortunately for Emeka, I was the class treasurer and i had the power to do and undo hahaha. I would ignore all other sounds and noise coming from behind and wait to just hear his voice so i could just penalize him.
I would have my back turned and i would hear his voice and scream from my front seat "Emeka you owe me 1000 Naira and please keep quiet" he would always ask me how i knew he was the one talking or laughing and i would absolutely ignore.
Our first fight was over the thousands of Naira Emeka owed me in my penalty book. I had gone to ask him to pay up, he wasn’t having it oh, trust an Igbo MAN, My Emeka was not going to part with his Naira without good course and as a mad Benin girl, i just wanted to cause trouble I had it out for him that day and in Emeka i found my match.
It was so explosive we started calling each other names. I eventually didn’t get my money but i was satisfied that i had caused trouble and made him aware of how much he got under my skin. After that incidence, we pretty much avoided each other.
One day, coincidentally we had misbehaved in class and were chased out by one of our facilitators we had to go hide out in an empty classroom so that we wont be caught and thrown out completely from the program.
That was the day i feel in love with Emeka’s soul. We talked and talked and talked and never went back to class, he told me about his dreams, and aspirations, he was so clear on what he wanted out of life. Emeka was a clear-cut entertainer, he could hold your attention for hours and that’s exactly what he did.
From that day hence we became great friends, my friends were his friends and my enemies his enemies. We hung out together. He was my wingman party planner as well as badass DJ the best there was, it was always a good time with Emeka. Like we always used to say "Jolly must go on".
The last time i saw Emeka was on Sept 7th 2013. At my sisters wedding, I was so happy to see him i hugged him for so long, twice, it was so good to see my yellow mamba (inside joke ELP 116) we chatted about work and life in general and as usual Emeka had spotted a few babes that we where going to talk about later.
I was so busy that day, but somehow i made time out to gist with him. I made him follow me to the chapman stand in promise of getting him one of the babes at the weddings number. When he wanted to leave i begged him to stay a little longer and he obliged.
If i had the privilege of seeing the future and knowing that was the last time i would see Emeka. I would most probably have danced with him all night long and told him how much i loved him and cherished his friendship. To tell the truth, forever would never have definitely been ENOUGH.
As the days pass by, i hope at every break of dawn it would get easier, they say that time heals all wounds. It’s been 5 days and i still feel the same way I felt on Sunday afternoon. I pray and hope that i get to feel better as the days go by,
To Emeka, i miss you everyday, though i didn’t get to tell you this enough maybe even never, but i love you very much and our friendship means the whole world to me.
What keeps me going most times these days is when i remember your smile and how you never took life too seriously. I am also glad to know that nobody around has anything but good to say about you, and most importantly knowing you loved the Lord is my biggest comfort knowing you are in a much more better place.
Rest in peace, my brother my friend, i am really going to miss you.
Always and forever baby till we meet again. Goodbye my friend.