SELF LOVE !
I have written this post about 10 times and I have deleted it.
If and when I put it out there, then it’s out there. So let me keep writing and hoping this time I post this one.
You see, I have dated 4 guys in my life time. Yes four, that’s a lot as far as I am concerned.
My first boyfriend I met him when I was 16 and we went on to date for 5years.i had practically planned my life with him and pictured how many babies we were going to have together.
Then one day he found a girl with child bearing hip capacity and that was the end of my story. I took one look at this babe and I said “Father be a hip provider. I cried and eventually I moved on.
Till date, I still pray to God for hips. I mean who no like better thing? I want hips so bad that I once saw a lady on instagram who said she climbs 65 flights of stairs everyday to get her hips so big. Although she did it on the stair master at the gym.
Sadly we do not have the stairmaster at my gym.Now I reside on the 14th floor of my apartment building and this quest for hips made me decide that every night I will climb to the fourteen floor when I get back from the gym every evening. Go back down and climb again. The first night came I got on the staircase and got to the 4th floor I was almost dying. I basically crawled to the elevator to take me home.
Back to the matter. After that boy broke my heart, it was a downward spiral from there. i decided in my own heart that it was because I was shapeless and fat and didn’t have hips so nobody will ever love me EVER.
I avoided anything in trousers for the next two years.
Eventually another guy found a away to wiggle his way into my life. Now the catch here was he told me he loved big girls.
I had found my Santa Claus. Wow, a man that would love for with all my imperfections. He loved me flawed and flawed.
Everyone thought I was happy, but deep down inside of me, I was dying. I hated the way I looked, and I used to hear the nasty comments people used to make when we were together. Infect he was never phased by it EVER. He would hold my hand everywhere we went and use any picture of mine available on his DP. It was the perfect relationship by many but I wasn’t happy with the way I looked.
The only time we ever fought was when i will start one diet program or the other. He never understood why. i couldn’t see how beautiful i was. I was his own kim karadashian but I hated myself. Eventually we parted ways
Then I met number three same issue, I had already ballooned from my initial weight from my second relationship, eating to comfort myself and when I met this guy,I was at my highest weight. Basically equivalent to two and a half bags of rice.
Men Oga was happy. God had blessed him. We would go and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat. Anytime we saw he would take me to one new restaurant. In fact I really loved that guy ooh in the food aspect. I mean what other joy could I ask God for? A man that will let me eat as much as a whole fish with chips at 11 0clock in the night and not judge me. He was from heaven. As a foodie concerned I had found my own Adam. I will marry him and wear size 100 and he would be very happy together forever. I had arrived.
I was very very WRONG. We broke up ooooooohhhhhhh….and I was now morbidly obese. My prince charming was gone poof, who will love me at size finish??
I started to look for a solution to my problem and that was when I met number 4, fine ass tall dude, looking like chocolate and honey, cheiii those kind of fine boys that u see inside movie. Every time I would look at him and then look at my neck less head and said how did I manage to catch this one?
I can bet you everybody wanted to know how yoykozuna had caught brad Pitt.
I would have wondered THE SAME EXACT THING MYSELF AND COME TO A MUNDANE CONCLUSION.
Anyways I did not want another child bearing hips woman to come and steal my man again ooh. So I knew I had to do something ORSISOR. (Fast Fast)
I started to go to the gym, Do shaunt’s insanity eat only protein. When I am tired and I remember his face I will stand up and continue to jump. Nobody’s gonna steal man again. I will chant in my head.
One day my friend Soto (God bless her soul) introduced me to CLICK HERE
I decided to call the lady that night and that was the day my life changed. We spoke on the phone for three hours, and she promised to hold my hands through this journey and she has kept her promise.
We have being inseparable ever since. She is also on a weight loss journey too so read her blog as well you will be fully entertained I promise you.
It’s being 10 weeks, I have lost 20 something kg’s (I haven’t weighed in a month so I really don’t know). I feel fabulous, even if I don’t have hips yet I am working on it.
I will continue to add 1 floor every night to my 4th floor until finally I get to the top so help me God.
This journey is no longer about my Brad Pitt, it is more about me. My health, I know now, I will not be scared to sleep and die from a heart attack because I am morbidly obese. I am more active. I have become more educated about the risks involved with Obesity, and most importantly I committed myself to an entirely new lifestyle change that I will follow through for the rest of my life.
My Journey is just beginning and each day I am getting closer to my goal. I go to sleep knowing that tomorrow is definitely going to be better than my yesterday. i am learning to love myself first before anybody else and thats the most amazing part.
Most importantly like the Bible says, "one brad pitt may go today but a thousand more will fall at my right hand" AMEN!
I am out of here people. Catch y’all later.