THE FATTEST GIRL IN LAGOS!!!


Hey Guys,

Hope you all are doing fine?

I have not written my exam ooh I am just a fear fear. I may write it today. Amen.

Today I am in a good mood. It’s Friday, why else. The life of a worker.

I sat at my office desk and I remembered some really embarrassing stories that had occurred in my life because of fatness.

I am going to share one with you.

Usually, I never ever shop in Nigeria ever. First of all, my size: major barrier. So six months ago when I heard my friend was coming (major side eye to that child). I bought some stuff online and told him to help me bring them in. I was ready to start work yippee.

This friend of mine left my clothes in England ooh and told me the day he got back. I almost died. It was a Friday so I decided to that on Saturday I would enter market and just buys trousers as my demon spawn of a friend said the trousers would come in the following week.

Saddled with my purse strings, I entered Balogun market that Saturday afternoon very very unaware as to events that would unfold that day. I was just a regular plus size child innocently looking for trousers abi? WRONG!!!!

I would later weep profusely in the middle of that market because I was “THE FATTEST GYAL IN LAGOS”

Let me go on I entered market ooh . I entered the first shop and this conversation ensued

SELLER: Madam wetin you dey find?

ME: size 24 trouser for work (BLACK)

SELLER: OK SIT DOWN MAKE I GO BRING AM

After waiting for like ever, this man came back with JEANS.JEANS. I was fuming. I am sure smoke was coming out of my ears.

Brother opens his mouth and says madam we no get your size for pant trouser except jeans and I  just started abusing this clown. After I stayed in his little black hole called a shop for over an hour sweating and almost passing out from dehydration he brought jeans?jeans? I abused him ooh because I am the fattest girl in Lagos abi?

So I carried myself and walked to another shop getting the same “madam we nor get your size” and another and another and after I had gotten the same response from over 20shops and trekked from one end of balogun market to the other increasing the size I started with I was exhausted.

I sighted this man who had the same body frame as me, and I said: excuse me sir, please I am looking for size 30 trouser. YES I had increased the size now seen as there were no in-betweens.

This man said ahh yes my sister come inside. I entered and I started coughing profusely and they ran to get me water I was so exhausted from trekking I could faint. Notice how I was 160and above kg’s then I didn’t know my size because my scale stopped measuring at 160kg so I was just living.

Anyways after the offer of water I was refurbished a little I told them same story size30, black, OFFICE TROUSER.

After waiting for about 45mins.i even had to sit because my phones had died they had a gen in the shop so I was charging it. The next thing the man came in with a carton colour trouser, a black and white stripped trouser and and a black trouser with strips on the side that looks like disco pants.

Infact I dint even know when I started screaming at the man asking him if I was Michael Jackson??? I said WORK, WORK, WORK not concert wicked things. I went to take my phone that I found out had only charged one bar more frustration.

I decided that maybe I should try Yaba market. BIGGEST mistake of my life.

By the time those igbo boys finished dragging me and shouting “my size “ more that 5billion times, one even told me aunty you no wear pant see hole for your trouser(I died a little inside I swear .I was wearing pant off course) DAMN!!!!

One Igbo boy grabbed my hands and told me all he sold was big sizes: liar from the pit of hell fire.he took  me to 1 shark of more useless Igbo boys screaming “ewo ooh, this 1 size no dey market oooh ,chineke” OH MY LIFE!!!!! And he left me there to face the humiliation of people asking me if I wanted rice and beans and 20 naira meat pie.

You people pray not to face embarrassment ooh just PRAY; you may never come out of it.

After another two hours this mental case came to show me shirts that he did not get my size in the market I should buy SHIRTS. Well my whole spirit and soul were defeated  already I might as well try and I tried the shirts and they did not fit as well..THE END.

I walked out of the shop, and cried my way home all through vowing that day that I would do something about my weight.

Six months after, 19kg later. I return to Balogun this time to look for work trousers because ALL THE ONE’s I have are just too large. This is the 1st time I am ever having clothes bigger than myself its so strange to me. I know I have began to look rough, so it’s definitely time for a change.

I’ll let you all know how it goes tomorrow. If any Igbo boy touches me he is DEAD!!!!

Fingers crossed.

Gat to go loves. ttyl.

Nossybelle Out.x

 

 

 

Comments

Anonymous said…
Died laughing. Lmao
nelly agbogu said…
Girl you are a case! Laughing really hard!
Ibhade Odigie said…
Omg Nossybelle. ....I am weeping wit laughter

Ibhade Odigie said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said…
Lmfao! Hilariousssssssss!!!
Anonymous said…
Lmfao! Hilariousssssssss!!!
Anonymous said…
Crying. You won't kill me. I've read this over 5 times now. LOOL. Mowumi
dimeji said…
Fuxking bully! :*
chy cynthia said…
God! Every organ/parts in my body was quaking in laughter. U̶̲̥̅̊ no go kill person oooo..
chy cynthia said…
God! Every organ/parts in my body was quaking in laughter. U̶̲̥̅̊ no go kill person oooo..
Demilade said…
OMG!! I'm literally in stitches...i had heard from Zee that you have a hilariously terrible mouth but never knew i'd get the same vibe from your written words...those Yaba market guys though (Lmao @ 'my size), idiots of the highest ranking!
This is Demilade- Zee's friend. I stumbled on your blog via instagram. Really proud of you for your weight-loss so far, please shake your booty, show the Lagos people..you've earned it (minus 19kg isn't a walk in the park)..Like you always say, there's still some work to be done but i think the hardest part (adjusting to the lifestyle change and shunning the unhealthy cravings)is almost over.

Thumbs up! I'll drop by here often to read your diary and cheer you on!
nosayaba bello said…
thank you DEMI............KISSSES!!!!!!
Anonymous said…
Yaba everyone is your size even the onces that will soon either die of starvation and malnutrition,as for the bully,I ask myself y are they so brutal,this blog is my inspiration so far. EHI are u loosing weight u av lost weight is totally ur blog Nosa.Thank a million
Ekene said…
Belle..lol...kool write up.
Nkeiru said…
LMAO....ur sense of humour?love,love,love it!!!!! all the best in ur weight loss journey. 19kg is no small feat. I'll keep visiting. Stay blessed.
zeeme Osh said…
Nosa! U have finished me....looooool! However I am so proud of u biggybello....I patiently await my size 14 baby..muah:*
Anonymous said…
Nosa my darling, i am very proud of you. Keep it up my dear. Kiss kiss

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