THE FATTEST GIRL IN LAGOS!!!
Hope you all are doing fine?
I have not written my exam ooh I am just a fear fear. I may write it today. Amen.
Today I am in a good mood. It’s Friday, why else. The life of a worker.
I sat at my office desk and I remembered some really embarrassing stories that had occurred in my life because of fatness.
I am going to share one with you.
Usually, I never ever shop in Nigeria ever. First of all, my size: major barrier. So six months ago when I heard my friend was coming (major side eye to that child). I bought some stuff online and told him to help me bring them in. I was ready to start work yippee.
This friend of mine left my clothes in England ooh and told me the day he got back. I almost died. It was a Friday so I decided to that on Saturday I would enter market and just buys trousers as my demon spawn of a friend said the trousers would come in the following week.
Saddled with my purse strings, I entered Balogun market that Saturday afternoon very very unaware as to events that would unfold that day. I was just a regular plus size child innocently looking for trousers abi? WRONG!!!!
I would later weep profusely in the middle of that market because I was “THE FATTEST GYAL IN LAGOS”
Let me go on I entered market ooh . I entered the first shop and this conversation ensued
SELLER: Madam wetin you dey find?
ME: size 24 trouser for work (BLACK)
SELLER: OK SIT DOWN MAKE I GO BRING AM
After waiting for like ever, this man came back with JEANS.JEANS. I was fuming. I am sure smoke was coming out of my ears.
Brother opens his mouth and says madam we no get your size for pant trouser except jeans and I just started abusing this clown. After I stayed in his little black hole called a shop for over an hour sweating and almost passing out from dehydration he brought jeans?jeans? I abused him ooh because I am the fattest girl in Lagos abi?
So I carried myself and walked to another shop getting the same “madam we nor get your size” and another and another and after I had gotten the same response from over 20shops and trekked from one end of balogun market to the other increasing the size I started with I was exhausted.
I sighted this man who had the same body frame as me, and I said: excuse me sir, please I am looking for size 30 trouser. YES I had increased the size now seen as there were no in-betweens.
This man said ahh yes my sister come inside. I entered and I started coughing profusely and they ran to get me water I was so exhausted from trekking I could faint. Notice how I was 160and above kg’s then I didn’t know my size because my scale stopped measuring at 160kg so I was just living.
Anyways after the offer of water I was refurbished a little I told them same story size30, black, OFFICE TROUSER.
After waiting for about 45mins.i even had to sit because my phones had died they had a gen in the shop so I was charging it. The next thing the man came in with a carton colour trouser, a black and white stripped trouser and and a black trouser with strips on the side that looks like disco pants.
Infact I dint even know when I started screaming at the man asking him if I was Michael Jackson??? I said WORK, WORK, WORK not concert wicked things. I went to take my phone that I found out had only charged one bar more frustration.
I decided that maybe I should try Yaba market. BIGGEST mistake of my life.
By the time those igbo boys finished dragging me and shouting “my size “ more that 5billion times, one even told me aunty you no wear pant see hole for your trouser(I died a little inside I swear .I was wearing pant off course) DAMN!!!!
One Igbo boy grabbed my hands and told me all he sold was big sizes: liar from the pit of hell fire.he took me to 1 shark of more useless Igbo boys screaming “ewo ooh, this 1 size no dey market oooh ,chineke” OH MY LIFE!!!!! And he left me there to face the humiliation of people asking me if I wanted rice and beans and 20 naira meat pie.
You people pray not to face embarrassment ooh just PRAY; you may never come out of it.
After another two hours this mental case came to show me shirts that he did not get my size in the market I should buy SHIRTS. Well my whole spirit and soul were defeated already I might as well try and I tried the shirts and they did not fit as well..THE END.
I walked out of the shop, and cried my way home all through vowing that day that I would do something about my weight.
Six months after, 19kg later. I return to Balogun this time to look for work trousers because ALL THE ONE’s I have are just too large. This is the 1st time I am ever having clothes bigger than myself its so strange to me. I know I have began to look rough, so it’s definitely time for a change.
I’ll let you all know how it goes tomorrow. If any Igbo boy touches me he is DEAD!!!!
Gat to go loves. ttyl.