GROWING.

Hello loves.

How are you all doing?

The way the events of this evening turned around in fact.

Let me gist you guys.

So you know i told you guys my parents are back, that means my mum is going to be cooking up a storm. Those who know her can testify. She has gifted hands in the kitchen

i had devised and planned so many tactics on how to escape the sweet smell of her food.

From work, I’ll go straight to the gym where i will be done at 9.30 pm by which time, all foods will be packed away and kept in the freezer. Good plan right?

So far it had being working.

my people, nothing prepared me for the wonderful aroma i recieved, when i walked into the house this evening.

in fact as i stepped out of the elevator, approaching my house i knew were the smell was coming from but i kept saying a silent prayer to God to let it be my neighbours.

i entered the house, and the smell of the chicken wrapped my whole existence, i walked slowly to the kitchen looked at the chicken i was not going to taste and all of a sudden i was filled with anger.

Funny, because i don’t know if it was the dead chicken i was angry at, or my mother or myself.

i filled my bottle with water , sat down in the room carrying a long face telling myself how it won’t be bad to just take two grilled pieces. choiiii

To make matters even worse ehen, my mother cooks healthy food and stuff, the rice was filled with veggies the chicken was grilled, I think there was even side salad,..........................................swallows spit.

I walked out the door, i saw all my skinny friends and that my tiny sister eating and laughing and i wanted to just fling them all down to the ground floor.

How dare they smile? When Nosa had not eaten for 21 days plus? Infidels….

I cursed under my breath and I left the house.

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On my way to the gym i started to reflect, and i realised that the anger was actually directed at me.

If i had kept to my new year’s resolution to work on my weight, who knows where i will be now.

all those nights i used to buy three cactus cake and wait till everyone was asleep to down it with two bottles of chilled Fanta, Abi it was when we were younger that I will lie to my sisters that the food was poisoned ,so they would hand it over to me and I will eat three portions in the balcony, or eat all the remnants from all the plates before I wash them, breaking every last bone, or buy two portions of bread and egg eat one at 7pm the other at 10pm, eat 2 sausage roll,1 plate of rice and chicken from sweet sensation, or drive down to ungodly places just to stuff my face with cake?

In fact, if there was a food rehab, I would be a founding member. i just loved to EAT....

How dare I be angry?? mcheeeeeeeeew

As usual, when I got to the gym, I was EXTRA. I remembered all these things, I dug deeper and deeper. The ground under my feet was filled with my sweat, and I loved it.

I was so into it that one man said please take it easy; when you are tired you should take a rest. I laughed, this wan nor know the road I face.

After aerobics, I got on the tread mill and instead of the 1mins 30 secs interval run, i did 5 Mins, people i was EXTRA!!!!!! i pushed myself today and i know i didn’t come close to my limit. When the machine finally stopped i won’t lie, i was very happy.

Why am i writing this epistle? i realised today that you can’t blame NOBODY. 161KG WAS SELF INFLICTED. Nobody forced me to eat. I made my choices and now I am paying for them.

I am grateful that I am going through this journey, because, I am growing everyday i find out new things about myself.

I mean yesterday i could only run 1.30 mins, today I ran 5 and I weigh 149kg.

Nothing is impossible; you want it, get up and fight for it.

There are a thousand of us out there struggling.

3 weeks ago I had 80kg to loose, today I have just 67.9 kg and one day I will say I have 5kg to my goal.

With God all things are possible, if you just believe.

I’ll see y’all soon.

Nossybelle out.x