SHOULD I?WOULD I? COULD I?

Hello Dears,

Sorry about the sporadic posts.

I have being battling with myself.

Let me say doubting.

Asking could I? would I? should I?

The best part is that I am still going. So we are still in the right direction.

13.7kg in 1 month? The devil surely is a liar. He almost robbed me of this joy.

Yesterday I left work early, because I felt I was going to give in just to go to church. I really wanted to pray and be with God.

Unfortunately when I got to church there was  concert going on, although it was praise and worship I still felt like I just wanted to seat and hear the word and just be lost in God.

So I left and went into my car, and I had a 1 on 1 conversation with my maker, and I was fine. I realized I can actually commune with him anywhere which even makes it more amazing.

Let me take this out of church.LOL .god is still the ultimate thou.

Two significant things happened between today and yesterday let me gist you.

After I left church and drove round for a while, trying to do some wedding runs for my sister,I spotted a gym somewhere and I walked I was just curious to see you know.

I got talking with the gym instructor who told me to get on the scale which I did and he exclaimed and said what? You weigh 148kg???? wow! You really need to work hard. That is supposed to be someone encouraging someone just imagine. Human beings first we judge then we ask questions later. I do it too so well.

Normally I will fell so bad and be like my God how did I balloon to 148kg? But I smiled and told him: Oga calm down and stop being so dramatic. I did not see the need to tell him where I was coming from because he is a NON MOTHER FUCKING FACTOR. Yes I said it!!!

So I flipped my hair, put my shoes back on and carried my fabulous 148kg sexy ass self with my crop top and Capri pants to match and smiled out of there.

See this NIGGA, a month ago that top was so tight it was almost a bra top and the trousers well I would most probably have had to add a yard of extra cloth for it to ever come close to buttoning. hehehe. Bitch ass chatting shit.

Then again this morning, one of the people whom I taught actually took me and my journey seriously made a joke out of my situation. To be honest I was CRUSHED initially. I left the office to go and cry.

 People who know me know that I can cry from littlest thing as killing a fly.  I didn’t cry and something in my spirit told me you have being liberated!!!!! this is twice in less than 24 hours a mere man created by God has used his words to try and bring you down and you have stood firm and strong .

Yes!!!! If this isn’t God then how else can I explain it? I was born with confidence and I will leave this word hence I came. No man is allowed to collect from me the gift which God has given to me freely. No one at all except him.

All negative thoughts and feelings are all gone for now. I don’t need anyone to pat me on the back, because I know I am doing a great Job. As the pounds fall of week by week my eyes are getting clearer and my heart, less heavy.

To all my haters ohh thank you so much. You keep me going. I mean when I am carrying my 1kg weights and crying in the gym jumping on springboards and getting sweat in my eyes and totally out of breath what keeps me going is: your rude remarks, the raising of your noses at me, I can tell your arms waiting to catch me when I fall.

What other motivation do I need? Thank you so much you are doing an amazing job in the motivation Department. Although the only thing I can promise you is that you will wait FOREVER!!!!  Because this time I am not STOPPING.

Finally to the person who made that nasty joke about my weight this morning in the office, I know you will see this eventually, I just want to let you know for a second there I thought you were different but once again you have proved me wrong. Thank You.

Guys I am out.

I think this is the longest post I am ever going to write.

Talk to you soon.

Nossybelle Out.x